The Grandmothers Who Held Us Together
A Legacy of Strength and Sacrifice
When I grew up in rural South Africa, young parents—both men and women—were noticeably absent. I was fortunate; my parents were teachers, so I had them at home. But for many children, it was their grandmothers who raised them, filling the void left by apartheid’s cruel policies.
For decades, apartheid and colonial laws shattered African family structures. The 1913 Land Act stripped Black South Africans of their right to own fertile land, forcing many into barren rural areas where farming was nearly impossible. To survive, men had to migrate to cities, working in mines, factories, and underpaid labor camps. Women were also forced into domestic work, leaving their own children behind to raise white families’ children.
The Grandmothers Who Stepped In
With parents absent, grandmothers became the heart of our communities. They weren’t just caregivers; they were providers, teachers, and protectors. They worked tirelessly, selling fruits and vegetables to ensure their grandchildren had food and school fees.
I remember how they scolded us when we skipped school, warning: “If you don’t study, I’ll employ you to carry my produce to the market!”
Even though they had been denied education themselves, they knew that learning was our only path to a better future.
The Devastating Effects of Apartheid on Family Life
The migrant labor system, reinforced by pass laws, prevented Black families from living together. Fathers spent years in labor hostels, unable to return home. Many never came back. Communities were left fragmented, and children grew up without parental guidance.
When apartheid ended in 1994, its impact on families didn’t just disappear. Many men struggled to reclaim their roles as fathers, and generational poverty remained a harsh reality. But one thing was certain: our grandmothers had kept us together through it all.
Honoring Their Strength
Today, we owe these grandmothers our deepest gratitude. They sacrificed, fought, and persevered so that we could have a future. Their resilience shaped who we are, and their legacy reminds us that even in the face of injustice, love and determination can build something lasting.
